What Do Real Men Drink?

I was riding the old pan head by the diner the other night and I got to thinking; what should Charlie drink while at the juke joint. So, listen up chumps, grab your spiral notebooks and pens, cause old Charlie is gonna school you on choosing the right drink.  First, ya have to figure out the logistics of the occasion. Will ya be with one of your dames, or is it a night with the fellas?  

If you are out with a dame, you need to choose your beverage wisely. You don’t want to get loose too fast because this gives the broad an advantage.  Charlie is always in control of the evening, and don’t forget it.  So what kind of drink you ask? A smooth scotch or cognac will get ya loose enough to keep the dame happy, while keeping you chumps in control. Take a swig every so often, don’t chug it.  

If you are planning a card game with the boys, or hitting the juke joint, then you can kick it up with some tequila, whiskey, or vodka in the mix. Steadfast warning chumps, NO MIXED DRINKS!!! Do not let any dames try to con you into this. Real men drink their booze straight and there is no need for anything to make it go down smoother than it naturally is, but a little ice is o.k. Remember to eat some grub before you go, if not, eat while you are out. This will allow you to withstand the effects.  

So use what Charlie has taught ya, and you will not fail. Keep the shiny side up kids!!