Thank God for the first amendment and the platform of my own website to spout off as I please. If you don’t like it, tough. Anyway, having my own website has allowed me to post my beliefs and views without allowing people to comment on them, which brings me a great deal of joy. To that end, I have decided to write a little treatise on what I find to be some of the most annoying and overused words and phrases in the English language.

Here’s my list:

1. Green
2. Really
3. Actually
4. Literally
5. No worries
6. I-anything
7. Amazing
8. Like
9. Passive aggressive
10. Whatever


Green: This is a buzzword used to describe anything good for the environment. It can describe a movement, a piece of technology, an idea, or a product. If you use this word it shows that you understand the movement and the need to save the environment, which is trendy and annoying. Shut up and go wash your Prius.

Really: This one is the new “actually.” It is used in a sarcastic way when the person using it has no other retort, or lacks the intellect or imagination to properly express themselves.
Example: Really? This latte is warm, I wanted it extra hot….omg….really?

Actually: This word has fallen out of favor with the popularity of the word “really”, but is used in much the same way and often with a sharp biting sarcastic tone. Example: Ahh…I actually don’t think so!

Literally: This word is the predecessor of actually and is rarely ever used. Like actually, it was once used to express unneeded emphasis with a sarcastic and snotty tone. Example: My boyfriend cried when I broke up with him. I literally laughed in his face.

No Worries: This phrase should legally only be allowed to be used by Australians. “No worries mate.” Every douchebag in the world now uses this phrase to show how passive and forgiving they are. Example: A guy just steps on your foot and scuffs your new shine job. He looks at you and says: “Dude, sorry!” You say: “No worries man!” When you really want to tell him to watch where the fuck he is going.

I-anything: This started with the Ipod and that is where is should have stopped. But, the same trendy assholes that use the words I am writing about work for marketing firms who believe it is cool and hip to make any product start with “I” to sound cool. I would like to Ipunch these people.

Amazing: Thanks to that talentless ditz Drew Barrymore, this overused word entered the American lexicon and is mostly used by young women to express how much they like something and have no other way to express it. Example: That documentary on reducing our carbon footprint was amazing!

Like: No other word in the English language threatens to turn me into a homicidal maniac than this one. A female under the age of 18 cannot complete one sentence in a conversation without it. I will spare you an example.

The term “Passive Aggressive””: This has got to be the most improperly used term used today. I hear it all the time when people attempt to describe bad behavior as passive aggressive when the behavior is just plain old aggressive.

Here is the official definition:
Of, relating to, or having a personality disorder characterized by habitual passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in occupational or social situations, as by procrastination, stubbornness, sullenness, and inefficiency.

Whatever: This goes hand in hand with “like” and falls into the same category. Like and whatever are synonymous.

Here is a sample conversation using all of the above listed words and terms:
So, my dad buys me a new car when I graduated from high school. He actually bought me a Nissan Exterra. I was like….really! This isn’t very green dad. His jaw literally dropped…I was like….whatever! I wanted a Prius, but I was like, no worries…I mean the Exterra is amazing but it has a huge carbon footprint. Anyway, he gets all pissy with me, takes the Exterra back to the dealership and tells me to walk to college. Can you believe how passive aggressive my dad is. I was like, whatever dad. Later that night I cried and he got me a brand new Prius. It even has a place to plug in my Ipod.