Often
I have wondered why when all of my friends seem to have a
great sense of humor, many other people in the world don't
seem too. Humor between my friends often takes place
in the way f the ancient art of ball busting.
As a young man I apprenticed under my father in the art
before being sent out to study independently with my
friends. Eventually I went to what is considered by
some to be the Yale and Harvard of ball breaking, the
military and law enforcement.
Now my son Frankie is nine and he is already well versed in
the art. He and his friends have even seemed to have
stumbled upon one of the sub arts of ball busting...ball
tapping. Yes, I really do consider it an art.
It has many intricacies. Sometimes you must be subtle
to get your point across to an asshole without lowering
yourself. Other times when amongst close friends it
can be very over the top, timing and content always a
tedious combination so as not to give your buddies
ammunition to bust your balls.
While passing the art onto my son I explained that breaking
the balls of someone who does not want to be involved or
break balls back can turn into bullying, and bullying is
not to be tolerated. This is where he was given
another Man Lesson, that real men stand up for those who
cannot protect themselves.
One of the problems I have see with many "men" these days
is that they have somehow been taught to view all ball
busting as mean spirited. These are the same guys who
don't understand that among many men the best way to let
someone know that they are not welcome is to not bust their
balls at all.
Something that seems to provide never ending consternation
to my wife is the fact that while in the act of perfecting
their ball busting my son and his friends often call each
other "gay" or "fag". Of course this is a big no no
in public schools where everyone is special because they
are different. I explained to her that "gay" and
"fag" are actually synonyms for "pussy" and that they just
don't say that in front of us.
So here are some of my closing thoughts on the subject, if
you are a man and nobody breaks your balls maybe it is
because you are an uptight asshole and nobody likes
you. On the other hand if you are the one always
breaking balls and nobody breaks yours back maybe they just
think you are an asshole that is unworthy of having their
balls broke. Either way, breaking balls is a time
honored masculine tradition that will continue no matter
how society tries to change us. From locker rooms,
cigar shops, barbershops, garages, golf courses, barracks,
roll call rooms, firehouses and everywhere else men gather
balls will always be broke.